Kellie’s Slimdown: Day 15

Emotional eating: something I know about too well! I’m nowhere near alone on this, I’m sure. We eat to celebrate a happy occasion, to mourn a loss, when we’re bored, to be social, to comfort ourselves when we’re alone…

 

But my emotional issues with food ran extremely deep — so deep that when I was a teenager, I developed bulimia. When I felt like everything around me was spiraling out of control, the only thing I could control was how much food I stuffed into my body, and I would go into a complete, out-of-control frenzy grabbing everything I could find and shoving it in my mouth. When I was finally stuffed to the point where I couldn’t stand up straight, it was then I would exercise what I thought was control and get rid of it. Those who’ve never experienced an eating disorder can’t begin to understand the high I felt and the sense of calm that came over me after I purged. But the hate I felt for myself outweighed that momentary feeling of calm and control.

 

In hindsight, I should’ve gotten professional counseling, but I was embarrassed and I didn’t want to talk about it. So I spent a good decade or more learning to overcome my abusive relationship with my body and food. But dealing with emotional and mainly SOCIAL eating? THAT’S something I still struggle with daily!

 

It’s hard when you go out with friends who don’t mean any harm, but sit there and teasingly give you grief when you order dry grilled chicken and vegetables while they’re ordering plates of fried everything with extra butter and cheese! You make them feel guilty — and nobody likes feeling THAT — so they may pressure you into giving up your healthy eating “just for one night.” And off you go again! It’s tough. I don’t always stand strong, but what’s really helped me in those moments is to remember this:

 

Tomorrow morning, what I don’t eat now won’t matter. But what I DO eat WILL matter!

 

If I can just get past that moment of temptation, stand strong and stick to my healthy eating, eventually, the nagging to join in on the decadence stops and we can all go back to just enjoying each other’s company. And the next day,  I don’t have to fear stepping on the scale or spend one minute being angry at myself. So hopefully that little saying will help you the next time you’re out with friends and feeling sorry for yourself that you’re missing out on all the fried, gooey, fattening fun.

 

Tomorrow morning, what I don’t eat now won’t matter. But what I DO eat WILL matter!

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